I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
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