And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize
