This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
