the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Randomize
