feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Randomize
