he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
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