Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
