We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
His nipple licking is glorious
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