eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize
