Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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