NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Boobs speak an international language.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
