feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I understand Curling. That high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
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