Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
