i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize