Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
