How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
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