I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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