After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
whose parrot is this?
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Randomize
