Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
