I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
