Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
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