if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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