batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
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