if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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