so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Randomize
