Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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