I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
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