for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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