Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
