New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
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