I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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