either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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