evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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