Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
