she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
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