Do vagina's smell?
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Randomize
