can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Why is your signature on my underwear?
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Randomize
