you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize