Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize