Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Im part way to drunk.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
