I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
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