There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
And then he peed in my hair
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