? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
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