ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
