happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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