Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Randomize
