Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize
