I need help removing her.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
she peed on how many people?
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
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