Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I got her a Nickelback box set.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Randomize
