I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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