At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Randomize
