she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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