didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
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