Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
