she woke up with a sticky ear
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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