Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
