new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
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