And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
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How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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