Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
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