Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
Need sex. Gaining weight.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
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