did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
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