Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Randomize
