The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
